JUST A LETTER....

To someone very special....

" You know what...again the pain is back; that terrible pain, again the darkness is back,again the loneliness is back. Can you tell me where do I escape?Every moment I wish I were dead, but may be God too hates me ;otherwise he would have taken me with him. I can't move an inch! I'm stuck here...And I feel the strange fear which I can't express in words. I have never been that much good at expressing thoughts,desires,needs and feelings.I just can't find the right words at right moments; I mess up everything! And you know that.....

I miss you....miss you so much! I miss everything about you. I had never felt so happy,so special, so content in my whole life. You made me feel that. You loved me, loved my faults, loved my imperfections.I felt so safe with you; holding your warm hands I glided through the unforeseen darkness and I succeeded.For the first time in my life I was totally and completely out of control. I was crazy, I was insane! If anyone can match my wildness, it's you! You are always in my heart, you are always on my mind- consciously or subconsciously! You were my shadow and I was yours. Months passed since we started knowing each other, but I couldn't get enough of you! You were, you are and you will always be special! You took my hand,held me tight and brought me out of the hell. It's because of you I survived!

But I think , I am going to hell again. And this time no one can save me.Angels come once to save you; if you are that much lucky....and I got mine already , so this time I have to suffer alone and fight through all this. You know...I have recently developed this phobia, when the sun sets I feel a strange fear,I keep thinking that the horrible darkness is coming to engulf me...I feel so alone! and it's true, I have no one!

What do you have in you? why can't I stop thinking about you? Why can't I get rid of all those memories?...I'm trying my level best to move on but it seems impossible.One step I take forward and the next moment I am four steps backward! I have engraved you on my soul, on my heart and does not matter how much I try to erase every single trace of you, I know...I can't! I am craving for your lips...soft, warm, heavenly; I am craving for your shoulders to rest my head on it. I wanna hug you tight...more tight until I can listen and feel your heartbeat , and then kiss on your left chest, where your heart pounds!

I can write thousand times in thousand different ways..."I love you..." but couldn't say it even once. I talk to you every second but when you are actually in front of me I become numb! I hug you, I feel you in my thoughts but when you are just beside me I can't even gather the courage to hold your hands! So weird I am! May be that's why you left me. But I don't mind. I am addicted to you, can't ever get rid of you or rather I don't want to!

When I go to bed I take you with me every night. I talk to you, I laugh with you, I cry with you. I can actually feel you here, with me, just beside me! I turn off the lights, raise the curtains...and the silvery moonbeam floods my bed! I lay there with you beside me. I hold my pillow close to my chest; kiss it softly and caress it gently, thinking it's you! I can actually see and feel your eyes getting closed gently when I keep on caressing your head, moving my fingers slowly through your silky, black hair.I can imagine the blissful smile on your face. Then you softly bring me on your chest , hold my head between your hands and blow me away with your heavenly kisses! You hold me as tightly as you can , you crush me into your arms , I lay there devoid of consciousness and at that very moment I cease to exist!

Every night you are here with me...even if you are not! I know I am just a hopeless dreamer and the reality has always tormented me.My heart is defenseless and gets hurt often ! Still I can't stop dreaming . It's my only way to escape from the harshness of reality.May be somewhere deep down we both knew we can't belong to each other , does not matter how much attached to each other we may be! Such is life...such is reality. It sucks big time!

No matter where I am or will be, no matter what I am doing or will be and no matter with whom I am or will be ....you will always be special, you will always be my angel and I will always love you...always, till my last breath and even after that! You once told me, "From now on you are my life.." I was ecstatic, I was flooded with unknown emotions; I couldn't say a single thing except a little stupid smiley that I had typed! I wanted to say so many things but I couldn't. I whispered to myself " My life begins with you and ends with you !" But see now...you are not with me, you are far far away but still I'm living! I have to , I can't end my life. I have to go on acting as if I'm so happy; I have to wear this fake smile everyday; I have to perform my duties; I have to sleep, drink, eat! I have to live so I need to move on! I was, I am and I will always be yours , the whole of me. And I don't think I can ever love anyone with that equal intensity with which I love you. No one ever, ever, ever can replace you.You are and you will always be safe inside my heart...

Miss you dear....love you forever.....!!! "

FALLEN.....

There was a news in a newspaper daily,though not on the front page or claiming a significant portion of the newspaper,just a little paragraph on some part of the newspaper...may be just to show the common people how much attentive they are,regarding all the incidents,regardless of however trivial or insignificant it may appear to everyone! That may be not so important to the rest of the world as they don't have that much time and interest left in them for such trivial matters.You can't blame them! they already have lots of problem in their life to deal with...so,what happened to a stranger in some part of a city fails to create sufficient interest and compassion needed for their further interrogation!After all she was just an ordinary,simple stranger...not any celebrity!

To sum up the news....an young Indian girl was found lying under a maple tree,in a park situated in Lake District,England. She was completely wet due to rain, her body was frozen and numb. At dawn, when a local sweeper came there to clear up that portion of the park, he discovered her body...covered with red-orange maple leaves. She was rushed, without any further delay...to nearest hospital, where she was declared"brought dead".Nothing was found in her wallet which may be sufficient to know her identity and details,except a little diary,filled up with some quotations and poems.The local police is still investigating on this issue, and they have informed Indian embassy regarding this event.

*****************************

It was a slightly dark...slightly misty....slightly hazy forest.An invigorating green aura was coming through the brownish,greenish,yellowish leaves of those unknown tress. There was a strange smell , something which leaves you bewildered as you fail to identify the source.The setting Sun was leaving behind the last warm golden rays,though not enough powerful to pierce through the thick cover of mist,covering the whole forest! Rather that created the effect which turns a simple dark forest into paradise...it was dazzling,shining,and exuding that strange heavenly greenish aura through the opaqueness of grey mist.The sky was partly cloudy,strangeness of the grey,smoky fog was enough to raise a shiver down your body,everything was so much similar to the descriptions usually found in mystery-horror stories. She was standing by the dark brown tree,just beside the frozen lake.The chily north wind was playing with her curly, brown locks.She was wearing her favourite black hooded-jacket.She was waiting there alone..her face was bright with unending enthusiasm and joy! Every second was like an hour...but she was waiting patiently. At last he came...silently and she was so preoccupied with her thoughts or rather with daydreaming..that she failed to sense his presence behind her back.

He came like a sudden breeze blowing from unknown direction...he put his arms lightly around her neck,then wrapped her little tightly and brought her more closer to him.She was completely taken aback by the suddenness of the event! But her shock was pleasant and she released a sigh of relief.His hands were cold,but enough to bring that special rush of blood through her veins.His touch was always,kind of electrifying to her senses! It left her powerless..helpless and clueless! She closed her eyes slowly and with that calm,angelic smile she surrendered herself,leaned her body on his shoulders.Her silky,brown hair was brushing slowly on his face and he was enjoying that pleasant tickle.He was feeling her warmth and slowly turned her face towards him.She was still radiating that calmness with her smile,while her eyes remained closed.Both of them were speechless,silence was just more than enough! He brought down his face closer to hers...gently touched her cheeks with his lips...then pressed his lips on hers...while caressing her face with very gentle strokes of his fingers.Her eyes were still closed, almost imperceptibly he tucked her locks behind her ears, with much care and hugged her more tight with his arms.

All of a sudden that horrible vibration woke her up! She was completely astonished.It was her stupid cell phone...vibrating like a senseless moron! It destroyed the most pleasant dream she had ever .It was 7.30 in the morning.She raised her body gently from the bed,and smiled shyly thinking about everything that was happening just a few moments ago!

Then slowly her senses brought her mid to reality,"Oh no!! I have to hurry...today I have my project submission!" She nearly hopped up from her little warm bed and got ready in another half an hour.She made her breakfast and had to eat alone as her room mate was on a vacation.

She was an Indian,doing her Masters from an university,here in Lake District,which falls within the territory of Cumbria and one of England's mountain regions.It is situated on the north west coast of England.Though it usually has moderate temperature throughout the year,it seemed that day it was much more dry and cold than the usual,and the sudden blows of icy cold wind was making it much more worse! And to team with it the sky was a little gray in colour,which brought the anticipation of rainfall.

By the way her name was Charulata Sengupta,a bengali girl from Kolkata,residing with a Spanish room mate. Her name was a little outdated compared to those names which are given nowadays. But it didn't matter to her anyway!She was engaged to her boyfriend named Ashmit Roy,after having two years of courtship.She met him in England and relationship with him was actually the most beautiful thing ever happened after coming here.And no prize for the guess, who was there in her dream!

She hurried towards her college.And the day was as expected....went on smoothly without any kind of unnecessary delay and problems! The presentation was nice and as soon as she finished her works she called Ashmit but like yesterday,his phone was switched of! She was a little bit anxious,as he never switches his phone off,even at the time of charging it! But she could do nothing except waiting with butterflies in her stomach!

She entered the local restaurant where they usually sit and chat for hours and ordered for a coffee.She started to reminisce everything that has happened recently,but she could not find any clue for his strange behaviour. Even three days back when she met him, he was very calm which does not match with his nature.May be he was also trying to tell something but couldn't!His eyes were exuding an aura of hesitance.But suddenly a voice within her started rebuking "why on earth are you thinking all these non-sense! everything is absolutely ok! leave him alone and give him time to breathe! don't smother him! you fool! ".She laughed at her own stupidity! She tried to calm down and relax,took her ear-phone out of her bag and started listening "addicted" by Enrique Iglesias, one of her favourite numbers! She got immersed into daydreaming and suddenly realised someone pulled the chair in front of her and sat down.When she looked it was him! Ashmit! She quickly removed her earphone and smiled back at him ," Hey! where have you been all these days! I was tensed,you know! are you ok? everything all right?" she asked with a concerned voice and curiosity in her eyes.

"Yup..I'm fine.." he replied somehow but his tone and his face was not that much convincing! He was looking tired and his dark circles were almost supporting the fact that something has surly happened...and it's not that pleasant!

"Don't lie to me! I know there is something on your mind....why are you hiding dear? Don't you trust me!??" she tried to sound sympathetic and supporting.

"I trust you...but you know what the problem is? I don't trust myself! I always hurt you dear and I guess this time I am gonna prove that I am a monster!" he replied with am extremely low voice,almost whispered! He buried his head in his palms and tried to hide his face.

A shiver went down her body,she was terrified! "Now what is it?..." somehow she asked while she was trying, not to look to tensed and concerned and it was in her nature ...not to appear vulnerable and weak to others, disregarding the fact ,how much close they may be! She had overflowing emotions within her but outside she was too calm and composed! No one could tell what she was thinking and this is why once Ashmit had commented "Do you know what I like most about you? ...your eyes,they are so mysterious! and do you know what I dislike most about you? Well...again your eyes! for I can't read them..ever!! " So it was all in her nature to appear calm and quiet regardless of how much turbulent may be the storm inside!

" Ok...I know I've to tell everything! but donno where to start...!" he replied with a sigh,looked bewildered and confused! While she was still waiting eagerly for the storm to knock her down!

She was afraid she may give the hints of her emotions so she kept staring down on the table!

"Do you remember Ankita...I told you sometimes about her...I guess" he said with a tone in his voice,alien to her!

"I guess it has to be..your ex! " she looked up and stared directly at his eyes,her voice as cold as ice,completely emotionless !

There was moment's of pause and slowly he replied " Yes you are right. You know what, she came to meet me 4 days back at my apartment and started talking all these non-sense..like she is sorry she ditched me,she was a fool...etc etc " he said all these with an expression trying to convince her as if all these didn't matter to him anyway! But she knew he was faking everything!

"And.....?? " she asked with her stone-cold voice combining it with her emotionless eyes!

Then there was silence...outside the cold wind was whistling and inside the storm of emotions! No one could speak anything.She broke the silence..."I guess...you have forgiven her and want to go back to her! "

He replied nothing...just kept staring at the table. He was too afraid so say anything, he couldn't even look at her face! "Say something.....you still love her? and please dont hesitate..I am not anything ferocious that I'll pounce on you and tear you into pieces" though she laughed a little her facial expression was still that cold and deadly.

His mouth curved a little just to give a slight impression that he was amused.He stared at her and sighed..." I won't prolong this by saying this and that! well..YES...I suppose I am still in love with her.." those last words were spoken with such a low voice that made it most inaudible.

"So..is there any shame in that? " she asked firmly.

"what? shame in what..?" he was quite astonished with her remark.

"Shame in confessing that you still love someone....I mean it's your heart,your mind..you can love anyone you want! why are you saying this with such a low voice?? Oh..if you are feeling guilty then let me confirm one simple thing...I am no one to stop you from loving anyone you want! in fact, no one can stop you! It's your right to be happy and it does not matter who is the reason! The fact is that you are happy,she makes you happy.You want her back in your life...and you know what I don't want to be a burden to anyone.Even I want to see you happy...." she voice was as sweet as honey and soft as silk! While she kept on saying all these, he kept on looking at her with wide open eyes exuding the aura of surprise, astonishment and disbelief!

She Slowly moved her right hand towards his right one and softly touched his cold fingers wet with perspiration!

"Don't be afraid dear..." she flashed her angelic smile and tried to comfort him.He was still in shock..he could'nt believe everything had gone so smoothly and she accepted it so calmly. He was in awe!

Slowly she reached her ring finger and started pulling off the little diamond ring he had once given to her! She pulled it off and put it on his palm..." You want to be free? well..you are free..!! I won't bind you anymore,live your life the way you want to! Give it to someone who means everything to you!" she was too calm, though her eyes were moist yet she controlled her overflowing emotions somehow,and gifted her crooked angelic smile .

"Are you ok? I mean I can't believe....I thought it will be so hard! And here you are...so calm and silent as if nothing has happened! Seriously you are totally unpredictable..." he was still too amazed and surprised by her soothing reactions.

She laughed a little," Yes..that I am! But I am happy for you...genuinely.Don't know if God ever listens to my prayers...but I will surely pray for you,for your happiness and wish you a beautiful life ahead of you ."

"You know what...I had doubts regarding presence of angels ,in fact I thought they never existed, but now I know how a person can turn into an angel...I love you dear,and always will" his voice nearly melted in gratitude.

" So do I..." she nearly chocked but managed somehow not to show her emotions.He broke her hear into pieces, she was bleeding profusely,inside! But outside, she was as serene as a new dawn. As it was her nature, regardless of how much hurt she may be inside or how much pain she may be going through , she never showed any sign to the world! Her outside coldness sometimes gave others the impression that she is heartless, emotionless while in reality it was totally opposite!She was the owner of the weakest heart!

She stood up, clutched his bag with her hands and rushed toward the door. She went out and never looked back, but she could feel his glance on her.

***********************************

Outside it was too cold, it was raining.Inside her head there was that sudden storm,driving her crazy...She was literally running, she was trying to escape from everything! She was rushing through the pavements,walking too fast with no clue where she was going.She was so much shocked that she did'not even notice when she had dropped her bag on the road! Her clothes were half wet...her eyes were opaque, filled with tears.She pressed her lips too hard and a groaning sound it made! She kept on running. Some by-standers were looking at her with curiosity. She pulled her hood over her head and it almost covered her face.She was shivering,her feet were trembling...not due to cold but due too the intensity of the agony she was feeling then!Her brown curls here wet, her hands were numb!

Suddenly that voice inside her started abusing her! " So..you had been a timepass huh! you are such a doormat! He used you for sometime and then threw you away,and you idiot! You thought he loves you...you fool! how could you do all these to you!"

" shut up!" she nearly shrieked.." I know he loved me...I can sense that" she was talking to herself and she broke down in tears. She entered the park and rushed towards her favourite place....that old maple tree.She started crying loudly...rather she was shrieking..." Oh God! why does it happen to me always...No one loves me! I'm so bad! I'm the worst..." she nearly collapsed under the tree, " I love you so much...I could die for you, and if you wanted ever, I could break my ribs and cut my heart out for you! and what you did to me!!!" she laid down on the wet ground in the cold rain,she curled her body like a singed cat," I am so cold! I need a hug so much...can you listen?? please come and hug me tight,I don't wanna die...love you so much...will you love me a little..please?? please love me...." she kept on muttering all these with a very low and feeble voice!She was shivering...it was raining on her,the tree could not save her much! She was completely wet,but kept lying there, she didn't had the power and intention to stand up and head towards home! May be she just wanted to die!

Minutes passed...hours passed...but she was lying there ,as still as rock! it was a rainy evening...no one was there in the park, no one noticed her.She was nearly unconscious due to extreme cold, the blood running through her veins nearly froze,her face was pale,and her feet became too numb to move!She was thinking of all those moments they had spent together,all those dreams they weaved together.Time used to glide by when they were together, they used to plan about getting married,having kids! Now all appeared as if those were just some pleasant dreams or may be this is a nightmare! She wanted to pinch herself hard but she had no strength left in her body.She could'not move.

For the very last time she gathered all her powers to open her eyes...all she could see was darkness,everything was pitch black! all the could feel was coldness, deadly coldness.She lost the last trace of warmness she still had in her body.She could not breathe anymore, she was trying too hard and at last she stopped trying.A sigh came from her open mouth, and she leaned back on the ground,tried to clutch the mud one last time, whispered," I love you..." and then collapsed there! She died! Orange,red maple leaves were falling upon her stiff, cold body..She died not from coldness but of broken heart, and on the mud , were lying there scattered pieces of her dreams and broken pieces of her heart. Though no one could see or feel all those , as those were just too trivial for anyone to notice...!!!

Fallen are the leaves...

pale and yellowish;

frozen are the dreams...

lost in the darkest mist!!

HER STORY.....

PART-I ONCE UPON A TIME...


Once upon a time,there was a little girl.She was merely 11 winters old.Though she was not given too many opportunities to experience the topsy- turvydom of life, she was quite mature than most of the girls of her age.And credit for this goes to her intense and understanding nature,and of course to her extremely sensitive mind.For having an affinity with the nature,she used to spend most of her time doing something which connects her with the nature.Those flying birds in the vast blue sky taught her the immense joy and strength of being free, the vast blue sky taught her to open her heart and welcome everyone with equal generosity and love.Those fresh green leaves,glowing and glittering in glory with the golden hue of sunbeam and those trembling dew drops on fragrant rose petals was enough for her to wake up in the early morning.Some of those mornings were more pleasant ,when she used to discover some tiny leaves peeping through those tiny seeds,and shivering a little when the cold wind was touching them.She used to shade them, water them with such a motherly affection as if those were her own child.Every day they were growing little by little,and her internal drive to save them from those external dangers was increasing little by little.And these dangers refer to the sudden attacks of caterpillars and other insects.She would carefully observe every single leaf,each morning.Inspite of taking so much care and caution,sometime she had to go through the trauma of witnessing some of the new sprouts were gone ! And this requires no Sherlock Holmes to find out why they are gone! After some days another bunch of new sprouts would take place of those which were gone.This way life continues to go on,irrespective of and uninfluenced by any terrible incident that takes place in our lives! May be those incidents obstruct the motion of our lives for a moment ,and compel us to pause our journeys for a while...but ultimately we start our journeys again with renewed enthusiasm and vigor.And this is the ultimate truth.

Now getting back to the story of that little girl.She belonged to the world,which she had created only for her,and this was the world where she used to get anything she wished for! lived her live on her own terms.She grew up gradually like all other girls of her age as it is the law of nature!! But her heart remained the same,the mind remained unaffected,her soul remained as pure as it used to be!And through this natural progression from childhood to adulthood she remained the same...shy,reserved,diffident! She was a loner.Her world belonged to herself and no one else! She could not even tolerate the idea of sharing her kingdom with anyone! She was the queen...she was the ruler!She laughed alone,she cried alone,she dreamt alone and she was alone!People who did not know her used to think she is weird! Yeah she was weird as she never tried to fit herself in the conventional rules and regulations of the society!She was different.

And this is her story....





PART-II SPREAD YOUR WINGS...



"I am flowing away.It is like some kind of force,it is taking me far away,I dont have any control over me,I am powerless.My life is a mess..its crazy.I had never imagined a life like this before.I am in awe! All those who know me cant believe that its "ME" , the same old person they used to know...quite,calm,reserved,homely! They will be shocked! But still does it matter ?? Of course not!! I am loving it! I am very much in love with my crazy, messy,wild,reckless lifestyle!! I am having fun of lifetime, and time flies so swiftly when you are having so much fun...when you are enjoying so much!! It is like a roller-coaster ride!We all have only one life..so why waste it brooding over petty things!! I am intoxicated...I am senseless...I dont wanna think anything...I just wanna flow,flow away...far and far away...where no one will recognise me...in fact I wanna go so far and to that extent where I cant recognise myself!! I wanna discover me,the new "ME"..."
December 2, 12.50 am.

It was midnight and she was writing her diary.Let me introduce this "crazy" girl....Anusha Roy,and simply "Annu "for her nearest and dearest ones.She is just like other girls of her age,but surely there is something which makes her special.And now she is in search of what this special thing is which makes her somewhat incredible.She has spent all these years being too much serious about her studies,being too much disciplined about her lifestyle.She is the type of girl whom every parent should be be proud of!

That was the day,the special day when the process of becoming all crazy and messy actually started.She was 18 years old.She was like other freshers...completely bewildered in a new environment and trying to find some familiar face or at least someone who is friendly.She was wandering aimlessly and did not know anyone.She was searching for a helping hand.It was her first day of her college life! She never actually felt like this before.She was lost,she was helpless.Everywhere she could see only strangers,and some of them throwing a peculiar glance at her.She was like fish out of water.Being too much shy and reserved she could not even imagined of taking the initiative and talking with someone! Somehow she managed to find her classroom and took a seat so slowly and silently that if she were invisible no one could have any clue about her existence in the classroom.She was sitting there,in the corner of the bench when she heard that sweet voice and when she turned back she saw the girl staring at her with that endearing smile and bright eyes.Actually she was longing for this...a friendly smile,a little warmth of friendship.She could not resist smiling at her and that was the moment when she got her best friend for the rest of her life!

The girl with her intoxicating smile,pretty face and friendly nature appeared like an angel to her.Her name was Sushmita i.e girl with a beautiful smile.She was her first friend,the first one to offer a friendly smile and helping hand.She was joyful,she was an amazing person! She had learnt to appreciate and enjoy the small things in life...how much trivial it may be! She believed in the ultimate truth that joy is all about who you are than what you have.So she always remained content and happy with all that she had.She never asked for too much,and it was not at all difficult to make her happy.

Anusha and Sushmita were too much happy to find each other,they loved and enjoyed their time together,time used to glide by when they were together.For Anusha life had never been so much beautiful for her...her finally learnt to spread her wings and fly...fly high and high above the horizon....to some unknown destination...until she is tired of flying!She learnt how to leave all her inhibitions and fears behind. She learnt how to live such a carefree life,how to be free,how to be bold and how to be wild!When she was a child she could not tolerate the idea of sharing her world with someone else..but now she was extremely happy to share her kingdom and occasionally thanked God for sending an angel in form of a FRIEND.



PART-III NOVEMBER RAIN



It was a cloudy day and weather forecast indicated a little rainfall but like every other occasion the weatherman failed to predict with accuracy and that day it was raining heavily.It was such a day which was too cold,weary and dark.It was just the beginning of Winter and so much rainfall was just so unexpected.It was an abhorrent weather.The cold breath of icy wind was blowing through and it was enough to freeze every living thing.The chilly northern wind was dampening the whole atmosphere,everything was too wet and too frozen! Everyone was awestruck,trying to cover their face with jacket, they were struggling to cope themselves with this dreadful weather.Some of them who were lucky to have an umbrella were wrestling with their umbrellas against the forceful north wind!

The boy was standing there,at the corner of the stairs heading down to the street.Looking hesitantly at the street,may be he was thinking whether to step outside for he had not brought any umbrella with him and he was too much afraid of the after effect of getting wet in this rain! And it was extremely necessary for him to go outside as he needed to make a phone call and he did not have enough balance left in his cell phone .
"Hey ! are you planning to go outside in this weather without an umbrella?"...suddenly he heard a female voice just behind him and when he looked behind he saw the girl,staring at him with a curious glance and friendly grin.
"yeah,actually I need to go outside immediately,I have got some emergency situation!" replied the boy with a little concern and helplessness in his voice.
"Oh..I see! but you should wait until the rain stops.Anyway if there is anything ,I can do for you just let me know!"
"Oh really thanks for your concern,but its ok,I need to make a phone call and I dont have enough balance left! that is the problem..." he was quite shy so he was being a little hesitant to ask for any help from a stranger.
"Oh ,ok but I have got a cell and if you want you can make a call...it will be my pleasure!" replied the girl with such a sweet smile that it appeared quite irresistible to him.
It was the beginning,the beginning of a new bonding,a new relationship,a new phrase of their lives.
Oh by the way the boy was Saptarshi a.k.a Saptu and the girl was none other than our very own Anusha.They were in the same department,in the same year yet they had never known each other,never talked to each other. It was first time they interacted and since then they never looked back,they became extremely good friends.They understood each other so well that time used to glide by imperceptibly when they were together. The term "they" not only includes Saptarshi and Anushka but also Sushmita.In fact peopled started recognizing them by the name "Awesome Threesome".Their friendship was a treasure to each one of them,they could not even imagine life without any of them! They were always together,always laughing,chuckling, sharing thoughts,and doing all other wicked things like bunking classes,giving proxies,playing pranks! They were inseparable,they were uninhibited !!

It was a cold,dreary,dark and depressive November but the coldness of the northern wind was not enough to supersede and snatch away the warmness of their friendship,as it grew stronger and stronger with each passing day.

PART-IV SEVEN DAYS OF FREEDOM



Winter had gone far away, new leaves had replaced the old ones.Finally Spring had arrived, driving away chilly north wind.Fresh,warm,gentle breeze started blowing all over and thereby putting an end to the freezing, devastating, depressing Winter.Flowers started blooming again and soon most of the trees were covered with colourful flowers,as if they were asleep for a long time and finally the special moment had come when they were finally awake,and as soon as they woke up they started decorating themselves with all those red, white,purple,pink flowers.Everywhere there were so many colours.The world seemed so heavenly,so pure,so vivacious!! But not to all I guess..as for some of them it was damn boring,everyday the same routine,same disgusting lectures.At that moment, life had become a little static and mundane for the "Awesome Threesome".The change of season and the renewed beauty of nature could not leave much impact on their minds!

It was 2.30 pm and as usual Anusha kept yawning throughout the whole class. Somehow she managed to keep herself awake but her eyes were nearly closed most of the time.As soon as the class was over she jumped in ecstasy and thrill and nearly cried "Oh God! I cant tolerate this anymore...what a life I am living!! It is so dull guys...are you all awake???"
Actually more or less everyone around her were dozing and after listening her words Susmita replied,"Really life has been such a hell,I cant stand it anymore,I need to be free,it is suffocating me,strangulating my soul !!"
"Lets have some fun...lets do something! lets free ourselves from this hell!! We dont know what is waiting for us in the future, it may be better or worse! but why are we wasting our valuable time this way attending boring, irritating lectures!! come on guys...its too much,I cant bear this anymore.And I am telling you one thing...I am not gonna attend any more classes this week and my time starts now!! I am going, dont know where but I know I am going to have lots and lots of fun!!!...anyone wanna join me???"...well, this was Saptarshi, too much exited.He just went on saying all these without any break and now stopped for a moment to breathe!
"But are not you gonna attend any class today? what if we become non-collegiate?" asked Anusha with a worried expression.
"Actually I dont give a damn!" replied Saptarshi aggressively.
"Me too...I wanna flee but I have a suggestion.Lets attend the next class,till our names are marked as present and then we will flee when the time is right,through the behind door....now how is that?" asked Anushka,with twinkles in her eyes and flashed her wicked smile!
Not everyone approved of her plan but Saptarshi was always ready.That day they actually executed their plan and the fled away through the behind door when the professor was busy writing something on the blackboard!

It turned into a crazy day,just as they had expected.They had so much fun that actually they failed to keep track of time,it just flowed by without letting them realise anything...or rather it can be said they were not in a mood to realise and they had immersed themselves in their newly acquired freedom,they floated together ,they were flying together like birds fly over the horizon.They released all their tensions,worries,boredom,depression and all other negative feelings!! Finally they were actually free and that day or rather those moments they spent together were like live saving drugs.They had that special feeling...that was very much alien to them , a teaspoon of happiness,a tablespoon of wildness,a pinch of craziness ,all blended together and it was awesome! They experienced the taste of having something forbidden,for the first time! They got addicted to each other.

The next seven days were the same in terms of intensity of craziness,joy and satisfaction.The ransacked the whole city,visited every restaurant,every pub,every mall,they could! They had never lived their their so fully,so wildly.And this time they were not alone,other friends joined them,as they were awestruck by the wildness and freshness of the idea! Their most favourite place for hanging out freely, turned out to be metro station. And sometimes they would laugh so loudly that the passer-bys were forced to lower their speed and watch them with curiosity and utter dismay.Sometimes their topics of discussion were on some forbidden topics and so lewd that other people sitting or standing nearby would stare at them with embarrassment or anger or disbelief or all of them.And they were more and more amused as if they had vowed to irritate public,embarrass them with their wildness,newly found freedom !

PART-V AND THEY FLOATED TOGETHER.....



Those seven days ended too quickly.It was a roller-coaster ride to all of them.Those days were special,intoxicating,thrilling and breathtaking.Most of them were tired but not all of them.Actually in case of Saptarshi and Anusha,they both wanted more of it,they were not satisfied and it seemed they could not have enough of it.

It was lunch time and all of them were together, chatting and sharing tiffin ... sometimes laughing like mad ones,sometimes teasing each other. Suddenly Sushmita declared the hottest news, just like that ! For a moment everyone was too shocked to react...but this shock was not due to some unfortunate event! They were so happy to hear that news that they became speechless.So, wanna know what she said at that moment?...
"I am committed now!! ",it was just so simple yet the intensity of its importance made everyone gasping for some air,in sheer joy and glory!Everywhere you could listen only sounds of astonishment and happiness.How..when..where..who is the lucky guy..everyone wanted to know!
"Well,he is a childhood friend,we were like best buddies those days,and few months back I found him through the internet!! it was amazing...and we did not waste much time to realise that we are perfect for each other! and that is the story..thats it! I am finally committed now,I am really very happy and truly this the most overwhelming feeling...I am speechless!! I am enjoying every moment of it!...she was bubbling with exitement and happiness.

They were returning home together,waiting for the train to come and chatting as usual."It's really great to know you are finally committed!" exclaimed Saptarshi with a philosophical tone in his voice.
"What about you Anu? dont you like anyone,have not you ever been in love with someone?"asked Sushmita with a little concern in her voice.
"I dont know what is love,the idea of loving someone is really confusing,too complex and not my type!",replied Anusha.
"Love is not at all confusing, you are actually confused!"...and Sushmita burst out laughing.
"But for me,I have been in love with three girls at the same time! They were all so nice,I could not select just one among all of them! Yeah I am also confused about all these stuff!" commented Saptarshi with a funny smile and shrugging his shoulder a little bit!
"Oh God ! everyone is so confused! now I am getting confused...Do I really love him??" it was Sushmita,getting too much confused in this whole confusion.
They all burst out laughing as her expression while saying this was really very funny and she was bewildered.
"Actually the idea of staying with one person for the rest of my life really frightens me too much...it is kind of suffocating! But yes if anyone is interested for a short term affair... for example affairs for 1 month or few weeks,they can contact me! And if I like spending time with him I can extend it to another month!" Anusha was actually quite amused with her own innovative idea.
"Oh really? why did not you ask me before? Its really unusual and weird! You know what..I am free,so why dont we go together?" Saptarshi was too much interested.
"What?Listen you guys...are you all mad or what?Is it some kind of contractual dating? I mean boyfriend for 1 month? are you out of your mind?" Sushmita looked perplexed and too shocked too react.She was quite traditional and even a little bit conservative in her approach towards the idea of love and this weird idea appeared quite degrading and impossible to her.
But Anusha seemed quite happy and she readily accepted the proposal."Ok..done! so lets shake hands together...Hello boyfriend!" she spread her hand towards Saptarshi and flashed her naughtiest smile.
"Hello girlfriend...you are awesome!!" he touched her hand and they had their brief hand shake session! "It's like those pretending games we used to play in our childhood days...is not it?"he asked in such a way as if he was only waiting for the approval.
"Yes! and it's fun" Anusha replied with a friendly grin.
All these happened in front of only one person and she was a silent spectator of all these,she just stood there perplexed and petrified with awe,shock and amazement!

Life did not remain the same for Anusha and Saptarshi.They used to bunk their classes often and walked through the unknown alleys,and lanes little known to them.They used to enjoy the feeling of uncertainty as it often reminded them of the true nature of life! Life is truly so unpredictable...you have no clue what is gonna happen,and this makes living so special and charming.The thrill of knowing unknown things,the excitement of discovery,the sensation of heading towards an unknown destination,the intensity of friendship,the glory of understanding each other so well....are some of those reasons which brought them so close to each other.They could always realise that their dreams,ambitions,aspirations,thoughts and desires match so often! They satisfied each other's desire for survival, happiness, enjoyment and escape. Everyday they were exploring their own self in a new manner,
in a new way.Meandering together was the main source of exploring each other so vastly.

Sometimes other friends would utter concerns for them but those were like shouting at the deaf! All those advices,concerns went on being unnoticed,unheard and ignored as they were yearning to be free.


PART-VI REALITY BITES...



Anusha belonged to a middle-class, conservative family. Her life was , in her opinion...quite dull,boring and always confined within the rigid boundaries of obnoxious rules and regulations which her family had followed since years after years, without questioning about the validity and necessity of these rules.She was always questioned about her activities. She had to give satisfactory answers and every time if she failed she had to face grave criticisms and admonition.Her life was like a caged bird,who wanted to fly but her wings were clipped of, she had this burning desire to fly above the horizon but somehow every time her path was obstructed.Sometimes she used to feel that everyone is trying to strangulate her till she is dead.The world outside was too much colourful,gorgeous, cheerful until her entry through the door of her house.All the vivacity, all the freshness around her used to vanish into oblivion within a few seconds. She wished she could escape from this suffocating dungeon,she wanted to breathe,she wanted to dance wildly in the rain, she wanted to feel the warmness of life, but all she received was confinement,suffocation,coldness and disapproval in the eyes of her parents! Every single thing she had ever wanted, had been disapproved and criticized vehemently. Sometimes she wondered whether her plans,her dreams,her ambitions were really outrageous but when she imagined herself in the role of a mother she never found anything wrong in her actions.She used to think if she were a mother she would never had done these to her children.The more she thought about it ,the more she became confident that she would have been the best mother in this whole world!

Her friends were really angels to her,bringing happiness, love,warmness,freshness and most importantly freedom.They were like sudden blows of fresh air in her confined,solitary life.She used to forget everything.The devil of boredom and depression never dared to touch her,when her angels were around. They were like her shields...always protecting her like the armours of the Knights!

This is reality and you cant ever escape from reality,it does not matter how powerful your imagination is,how intense dreamer you are! Everyone is bound to face reality,they must face reality...does not matter how much painful and excruciating it is or may be! You cant live in dreams forever but yes it gives you temporary relief as you can have whatever you want,at least in your dreams.And this was the only way open to Anusha! She was a dreamer...and when sometimes the reality was too hard to bear, she used to escape and take shelter in her dreams.It was her comfort zone!

She was never allowed to stay outside of her house,even for a single night.But she always had this dream...having a night out with all her friends,having loads and loads of fun together,doing whatever she wanted to do,living life to the fullest...at least for one night! But she knew very well that her parents would never allow that,so she had never taken any initiative to obtain permission from her parents.

But this time they had a plan to enjoy the Puja vacation in an unique way. In fact most of the plans they used to make were unique and different but this time it was quite outrageous. They were all ready to take the risk and enjoy together.

"Look, we have got this unique chance and we have to use it properly.My parents are going to my sister's place,so I am alone!! finally...!! so if you join me,we can have lots of fun together,just imagine,doing all those things we have ever wanted,going to all those places we want to go..." it was Sushmita who was so thrilled that the tone of her voice gradually raised and raised with every single word! But the other person,to whom she was explaining all these,was standing there with a blank face and stupefied expression.
"This can be a chance for you my dear, but I guess not for me...you know my family,they will ever give permission of having a night out with friends." replied Anusha with a sad and pessimistic tone in her voice!
"Yes I know and that is why I said I have a really effective plan to convince your parents.They know me very well,and I have visited your house on numerous occasions. I am gonna tell them that we will stay together for a few days at my place and I am staying alone during that time,so I dont think that will be a problem...I mean they know me so well...I can handle this,I have really effective convincing techniques." assured a very confident Sushmita.But despite of her assurance Anusha looked as pessimistic and as dull as before.She was not sure that this will work,at all!

But,to her utter surprise,her parents actually gave permission to stay at Sushmita's place! Well, it really proves how much effective her persuasion was.It was really a difficult challenge for Sushmita but she had accomplished it with great sincerity and passed through all these agonies for obtaining a simple nod from her parents,with flying colours! The moment was really special.After listening to all the persuasive sentences and requests from Sushmita, gloomy faced,stern looking father of Anusha Mr. Shashank Roy slowly closed his eyes and nearly immersed into deep thoughts! A few moments of silence...nail biting anxiety...all the eyes fixed on him with great curiosity...and he slowly opened his eyes and uttered those magical words with a single nod!

Somehow, they controlled their internal urge to scream and jump as soon as those words entered their ears but they nearly ran all the way to the roof top and screamed hysterically.And it was a result of their passion,joy,glory,attained success,fulfilled desires as they could see their dreams becoming true...slowly and silently!



PART-VII THE ENDING OR A NEW BEGINNING?



We are all aware of the saying...that all good things come to an end.This the law of universe.Nothing is permanent in this earth,whether it is happiness,sadness,joy,pain ....everything is temporary.And every end in itself signifies a new beginning.Every beginning comes from some other beginning's end.This is like a cycle,just like every night comes to an end and is replaced by a new dawn and vice versa.The change is inevitable and unavoidable,every single person has to go through this.It is like a roller-coaster ride,if you are enjoying the ride,it seems exiting and invigorating ,but if you are afraid it may appear to you as deadly and hellish! So while you have to go through this,why not make this ride enjoyable and joyful !And though it is not possible for us to stop any good thing from ending we can still have those beautiful memories which will never end,which will linger in our hearts forever and ever,till our last breathe!

They were having so much fun together.Anusha was staying with Sushmita at her place and all those days they spent together doing whatever they wanted to do.They were not bound to give any explanation to anyone for their activities,they were actually free,in true sense! Sometimes they would organise parties and invite all other friends.Anusha was spending those days exactly the same way, she had ever imagined of.But it were those special occasions when Saptarshi would come to join them,her face had this certain tantalizing glow which no one could help but noticing with awe,amazement and sometimes with suspicion as no one had any clue about what was going on between them,except Sushmita!They loved each other's company,they were too much fond of each other.Not a single day had passed without any kind of interaction between them.They were never tired or bored of each other.Even they had no clue what was going on between them,or rather it can be said they never cared to figure it out.They were enjoying the wild ride,they were flowing together with an uncertain,unknown, powerful tide....without knowing as to where they were going and when it is gonna end! They had no time to think about these trivial matters.Time was too short and they had too much to enjoy!They were enjoying the thrill and the forces of attraction were at their strongest.

It was the last day.Anusha had to return home the next day.It was the last party they were having together.They had not invited too many friends,still only Saptarshi came.It was not even a party in true sense...just a friendly chat session!
"It has been so much fun..right? all these days...why all good things end up so quickly?" asked Anusha with a nostalgic tone in her voice.
" Well..you never know! may be because we get immersed into enjoying all these moments that we hardly notice and it just glides by,imperceptibly! but you know at the end of the day...we will all remember all these beautiful moments...everything we said..everything we did! and that is what matters most!" replied Saptarshi with those dreamy eyes and intoxicating voice!
They were chatting together on the balcony of Sushmita's house.Sushmita was preparing coffee and some snacks for her friends,she was busy with her work in her kitchen.
The setting sun was crimson red...spreading all its mild warmth and reddish hue over the horizon.The more the sun was going away,the more it was looking beautiful.Not only red,but also orange,purple,yellow...you could find each and every colour on the canvas called "sky".They were melting into each other,immersing into each other,hugging each other,but still without losing their individuality...without losing their own colour! All those birds,they were returning to their nests,they were flying so high,without any fear. Sometimes chirping of some unknown bird,enchanting smell of some unknown flower,echos of a running train came floating by, enhancing the beauty of the dusk.Everything was a little shadowy.The twilight was mesmerizing.A simple sunset never appeared so much heavenly...at least to Anusha and Saptarshi.The little balcony seemed like a piece of paradise to them!

Suddenly a strange silence engulfed them.They were staring at each other,they could see nothing except their faces.Everything around them gradually became blurred.They were in a trance,they could not move,they could not remove their glances from each other,they just kept staring .It seemed as if they have stopped breathing,they were speechless,they were frozen! It was the moment...they came so much closer that they could hear each other's pounding heart,they could feel each other's warm breathing.They came closer and closer until their lips touched .The softness,the warmness,the sensation overwhelmed her soul...she was no longer in this world...she could not even realise whether she is alive or dead, whether she is on this earth or heaven ! A tantalizing wave of some unknown emotion was flowing down her body.She did not know how to stop,what to do,what to say! She was helpless,she was stunned,she was mesmerized! The burning passion inside her heart made her forget everything.Actually she ceased to exist,all her senses vanished into oblivion.They were melting together,they were burning together,they were immersing into each other!They could go on like this unless the door bell had made that horrific,harsh sound!

They were shocked.And when Anusha got her sense back she opened her eyes and pushed him fiercely. At that moment they could not even realise what was happening.Everything happened so fast that they did not have the chance to react! They kept staring at each other, completely bewildered...they could not believe all these ,what was going on!

She stood up and ran towards the bedroom,she locked the door.And Saptarshi was still sitting there with that peculiar expression on his face,trying hard to answer these questions...when this happened,how this happened?It was just a few seconds but the effect it had was too much grave in importance.It changed the lives of those two individuals...forever! But they could do nothing..it was beyond their imagination...it was beyond their power! They were just two powerless,helpless creatures in the hand of destiny...they were just heading towards the direction which was destined for them!


to be continued...

MY KNIGHT....

You are so far yet you are so near ;
when you whisper I can hear....
when you wear that purple dress,
I know, you remember my face.
I wake up in the middle of the night....
recall the moment you hugged me tight!!
I burn myself every moment,
I dont know when it is going to end.
I crave for your warm embrace;
in the darkness I search for your face!
My cravings are few,but they are not new;
and my life is like a trembling dew!!
my pensive moments are never gonna end,
they have become my best friends!
The distance between us torments me....
Come cross the line...make me free!
sometimes I just fail to understand,
I do not know whom to reprimand....
you stayed near in my lonely moments,
now you come in my dreams,only to torment!
I really do not know what to do!
how to suppress my feelings for you....
The more you go far...more I feel you near;
i relish every moment we spent together!
I survive,I breathe,I exist only for you....
And the truth is......I am addicted to you!
I wait eagerly for the special night...
when the moon will shine so bright,
You will come and embrace me tight,
I will be your queen and you will be my Knight!!!

ABSTRACT THOUGHTS...

"Sometimes when I look at the crowd I realise how insignificant I am...sometimes when I look at the vast blue sky I realise how confined I am, sometimes when I look at those little children I realise how much devoid of innocence I am, and sometimes when I look at those flower petals swollen with dew I realise how much devoid of beauty I am!
I am nothing,I am no one,I am worthless.I am losing myself in the mist.Sometimes I fail to recognise myself,I search for my existence,I search for my lost soul.The lump in my throat,the ache in my heart,the burning inside my ribs come back again and again to torment me,to remind me of their existence.Suffering is optional but pain is inevitable!
I go on playing hide and seek with my inner self.It knows the real me!
Everyday I cover myself with beautiful dresses,but to my inner self I am uncovered,I am nude.Every time I do a wrong, I am answerable to my inner self.
I go on searching myself.I want to know myself.I want to realise my inner strength.I want to love.I want to dream,forever and ever....I want to be free and fly over the horizon."

AN UNCONVENTIONAL ENDING...

" I wish I had never trusted you! you are such a player!!"....cried the girl in desperation.
"Oh my God! now what have I done?why can't you trust me...please don't go"....the boy was pleading to her.
" what did you say? trust ...and you!!! ..biggest joke of the century, I was blind, really I was blind and that's the reason why I neglected the fact that you are a world class flirt and you...." her voice nearly choked and she failed to express all her anger,despair and agony; she was going through at that time.
" Hey ..listen to me....look at me...I..." he could not complete his words and she cried loudly "shut up! please shut up! you dont deserve anything, you are just a worthless,heartless,emotionless flirt"
" Oh dear,my Ankita..don't be that much angry,now " this time also he couldn't finish and she shouted in amazement and awe " What? what did you say...I am Ankita?? oh my God! what are you? you cant even remember my name...who is this Ankita? tell me how many girl friends do you have?You are a loser,idiot...you suck! and you know what...you are sick...you guys are sick!! get lost!!"
She jumped off the chair and hurried towards the train that was entering the platform. Not for once she looked behind and she was gone.He was still sitting there, still shocked by the gravity of the situation and embarrassed by what he has said. He was still wondering how can a girl humiliate him like that! And it was really too much degrading for his male ego.
Suddenly he heard a sound of laughter and it caught his attention, he turned back and found an young girl who was sitting there and trying hard to conceal her laughter by pressing her handkerchief on her mouth but her effort was not enough, rather it was making the sound even weirder ! It seemed she was so much amused by the situation and it was too much funny and entertaining for her!


He asked himself..."Isn't it really funny?you are dating a girl since two months and you forgot her name!! ha ha! but still how can I remember, there are so many of them!! so.. take a chill pill"
and he started laughing. The girl turned behind and noticed that he was looking at her.She tried to look stern but alas! she was too amused to look stern.She stopped laughing for a few seconds and then she again started laughing and this time more loudly than ever!
Some people are gifted with the ability to make a gloomy atmosphere bright, they shine in the midst of darkness,they bring hope and they can make anyone forget about their pain and sorrows. Her infectious smile and her innocence was enough to make him laugh at his own stupidity.
They stared at each other,directly for the first time.And he was stuck by her eyes.There was something special about them...calm,serene,deep and mysterious.Those black eyes left him speechless and bewildered.Those eyes were magical and made him gasping for some air! His heart beat fastened.He was intoxicated...he was charmed...he was breathless...he was taken aback by her mesmerizing glance, by her tantalizing beauty.
"Hey! why are you laughing? so funny! isnt it?"
"oops! I am really sorry but I could nt suppress my urge ... sorry for that!"
" Oh no..its ok" he tried to make her feel easy,"It was actually funny, but I think she will hate men after this incident, I tend to leave bad impact on most of the people...I am really a bad guy...So tell me, do you hate men?"
"Oh please! I love men " she replied with a chuckle.
"Ohh, that's really unexpected, ha ha! but may be you love men because you always have had fond memories associated with them....is not it?"
"Hmm...thats quite true, but you know what,I am not typical girly kind of person...in fact I dont understand women! I have only few girl friends,most of my friends are men!"
"ok...now I understand.Good! " commented the boy with a naughty smile.
It were a few moments of silence,but she started talking again,"so...you are a player right? but I think not a good one,I mean you can not play safe,or at least not this time",she chuckled.
"Ha ha, yeah you r right...but you know what..you are exceptional,most of the girls would have considered this incident as degrading to their dignity,humiliating,devastating etc etc.So it seems you are not a feminist."
"Hmm I dont take everything too seriously,I am kind of happy-go-lucky person.And yes,I am not a typical feminist but I believe in equality of both men and women,so may be an "equalist" if there is any term like this" she replied with twinkle in her eyes and her unyielding exuberance.
" You are extremely funny and exceptional.I like exceptional girls" he replied with his naughty smile and raised his left eyebrow a little bit.
"Hey Mr. now you are flirting with me and I would like to inform you that I am also a good flirt and sadly my flirting standards are quite high than yours! so...be careful" ,she uttered these words with pride and a little arrogance.
He was going to say something,suddenly they heard the announcement that the train going to Dumdum will be late by 10 minutes.
"Oh no! again today I will be late",he expressed his irritation.
"Oh sorry for that...but I am gonna take the train to Tollygunje, hopefully it will arrive on proper time" she expressed her concern and suddenly her tone raised," Oh by the way, what is your name?" she asked the boy.
"Bond, James Bond!" was the answer of the boy again with with naughty chuckle and this time he chuckled a little bit more than the previous occasions,which revealed the dimple on his right cheek,and it made his smile even naughtier.
"Oh,cool ! nice to meet you Mr. bond...but who is the female lead this time?or rather do you have any?"
"You are...if you dont mind accompanying me! may I know your name?"
"Yeah sure! I am Miss. Stranger" she almost burst out in laughter.
"Ok fine.So tell me Miss Stranger where are you going?"
"Well, I will get down at Tollygunje,the last metro station!"
There was silence for a few seconds and then the boy started" Ok did you realise one thing?...You know what,we meet people,different types of people in our everyday life,we like some of them,and dislike some of them.Each individual has different story and when we meet them each time a new story is created! however short or lengthy it may be! Now today we met,and a new story has started, I am wondering what will be the ending? Do you have any clue?"
"Hmm...you are being quite philosophical ! Well it can be like this...I will take my train and you will take your train and then it will be the end!".
" But dont you think it is quite an boring and conventional ending? I mean we are quite weird peoples..and the ending must be weird one...is not it??"
"Ok..I have an idea, you fall in love with me and propose me right now,but I reject and you get so frustrated you jump infront of the running train and commit suicide,....oh my God at last my train is coming!!" she clasped her hands in joy and surprise.
"Oh no! please take the next train...dont leave me!ok please tell me one thing quickly....what is it between us? I mean what kind of relationship is it?what do you think?",he was too eager to know " Well.....some relations don't have any name!" she replied with a little indifference and ignorance in her voice.The train had arrived, and the door opened.
"What if we carry forward and give it a name called friendship?I will wait for you tomorrow same time same station! please meet me! will you?" he uttered these words with a hint of request.
"You want an unconventional ending to this story...dont you think your idea is too conventional? bye Mr. bond" She shrugged her shoulder a little bit and took the train and in a few seconds she was gone!
And he kept standing there,completely bewildered.

RED AND BLUE......

She was waiting for him, whole day.It was a winter morning...a little cloudy and foggy, it was cold, silent and serene. But still it depends upon your mood how you utilize and feel this weather. If you are happy, if you are peaceful it will be a nice, romantic weather for you.But if you are mentally disturbed, feeling hopeless, aimless and loveless it will appear to you as deadly silent.

She was standing there alone since early morning. Every second was like an hour...and gradually seconds passed, minutes passed and hours passed. Brightness of the day soon began to fade and slowly but silently darkness was immersing the universe. But there was darkness in her mind too and with each passing hour it only darkened with despair and hopelessness. The Wind was too cold for her to bear, still she stood there with her rock solid stubbornness and dedication and no one could move her. She was shivering... not due to coldness of the night. she was so angry..she was feeling deceived ,she was feeling humiliated and there was too much pain in her heart.....as if it was being torn apart!!! and she could do nothing...she was helpless...no one came to meet her, she was left behind!

Suddenly she realised it was 9.30pm and there was not much people on the streets. Some of the passer-byes were throwing a piercing glance at her. Her cell was ringing and it was the 6 th call from her home. She didn’t care to pick it up and like the previous calls it enlisted its name as a "missed call”. Now she changed her mind and she wanted to go but she could not move...her hands were too cold as if she was dead...and her feet were numb. But somehow she managed to move...she walked and walked. Her vision was blurred...everything was so opaque in front of her ...her mouth was dry and cold but her eyes were wet ...warm teardrops rolled down her cheeks...She said to herself, " why did u do this to me!! I love you so so much...I gave you everything I had, not a single day has passed when I haven’t thought of you, I was always there for you, you are my life, my soul .my inspiration ..you are my everything..you are my God....and everything I do and want to do..is only for you!! Still you did this to me! am I too bad??? don’t I deserve a little happiness ,a little love!!"......

She was thinking about the day , they first talked. She was down with fever , couldn’t go to college and getting bored like hell. So she connected internet and went to a chat room and all those people who has experience of going to a chat room are surely aware of the fact that whenever they see a girl's id/name all of them just jump upon the id!! And soon her screen was flooded with thousands of boxes ..some of them offering friendship, some of them asking asl,and of course some of them.....u guess what!! She choose the most beautiful id..."bhorer akash" ,it appeared amazing to her, she was overwhelmed. And that was the moment, that special moment and after that they never looked back, everything went so smoothly, so imperceptively. Their friendship grew stronger and stronger with each passing day. They used to share their sorrows, their joys just like close friends. It was like a flow and they were flowing together without caring about anything or rather it can be said that they were so much involved with each other they just forgot about everything! They belonged to each other, they were incomplete without each other.

Gradually they came closer, they exchanged phone numbers and when they used to talk to each other, most of the time they never realised that hours have passed...and they enjoyed these astonishing moments after discovering how much they have talked. Everything was so heavenly so perfect that she often doubted whether she was awake...what if it is a dream!

After knowing him and becoming his friend each and every day was a pure bliss for her...she forgot all her worries. He was like a drug and she was addicted to him. Though he had never expressed any kind of feelings except friendship...she had devoted everything, her mind..her soul to him! She loved him deeply, with such intensity, passion and madness that it reached to the extent of obsession.

Now coming back to the present day. They had fixed a casual dating and it was decided that he will wear a black sweater and she, a purple dress. The time and the venue everything was fixed. Though they were friends they never saw each other and she was bubbling with enthusiasm and waiting eagerly with butterflies in her stomach! But she waited patiently whole day....he did not come. She called him at least 20 times but he did not receive the phone calls and last time she called it was switched off. She stood there speechless...agonized and traumatized by unbearable pain and anger. With every passing hour her hope faded in the mist of uncertainty .She was petrified and did not understand anything....at last she went home.

But you know what!! actually he came...yes he came to meet her. But she did not recognise him as he was wearing a blue sweater ! He came, he saw her and he passed across her...without giving her any hints that it was him! he was just like other strangers .Well...his expectations were quite high...and she, or rather it can be said her ordinary, simple, middle-class looks failed to charm him and she failed miserably to fulfill his expectations! He deceived her. He left her behind. He played with her emotions and left her with a broken heart and grieving soul. And after that day he did not ever receive her calls and one day he changed his number, he changed his id and he was gone! he vanished himself! and it was just like that! so much easy for him.

But she is still expecting that one day he will call...one day he will love her, care for her just like she does everyday, every single moment. She still wonders what her fault was. She does not know anything...she is just a stupid, emotional, ordinary girl! She tried her best to hate him, forget him but how can she! Her heart, her soul, her mind belongs to him...he is her God! And this is the reality, weird reality...a stranger became friend then more than a friend and then again a stranger!! And the process was too fast for her to cope with.

Well...I haven’t mentioned the names...right??? ...but still what is there in a name! Every day someone is being deceived, dumped! who cares!! NO ONE...this is a big selfish world! Everyone is alone here, living with a heart that craves for a little love, care and support. Loving someone truly gives you courage and being loved by someone gives you strength. So...keep loving, unconditionally and genuinely .BE AN ANGEL ... :)

“ Someday you will cry for me,

Like I cried for you...

Someday you will miss me,

Like I missed you...

Someday you will need me,

Like I needed you...

Someday you will love me,

But I wont love you!!!!”

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