Year after year I weaved the dream,
It took just a few moments.....
and everything was gone.
Standing in between of nowhere.
some ruthless creatures....
they came and broke everything.
Now lying everywhere,
scattered pieces of dreams....
pieces of broken heart,
strains of blood on window sills.
Golden hues of sunbeams,
on those broken pieces.....
captivating and mesmerizing,
soothing and tempting,
my dead soul....my dead body!
Humiliated and destroyed;
I fall there, I die there!
I am crushed...I am mutilated.
Walking on the pavements,
in darkest of nights! and
all are history,mundane history.
Drops of blood.....
Drops of tears.....
they mix together with rays,
of the setting sun.
All are red,horrific red
and I paint my torn canvas!
Tonight the luminous moon failed miserably to hypnotize me.Tonight the gentle breeze could not heal my wounded soul.Tonight the silvery moon beam glided through those shadowy trees...but never noticed my blurred silhouette behind that thorny fence! I was silent,standing alone in the dark.The intense darkness immersed my flimsy shadow...the only evidence of my existence! The coldness of the breeze snatched away the little warmness i still had in my body.Those twinkling stars kept glowing behind those clumsy grey clouds, indifferent towards my burning heart,unaffected by my sorrows! My melancholic song was lost behind the murmuring of those falling leaves.The little narrow lane disappeared behind dense fog...creating the illusions of a fantasy world.
Everyone is busy with their own works,happy in their own ways and living their own lives.Everything is as normal as possible.Everyone seems to be as happy as possible.But here I am...standing in the middle of the crowd,yet silent and unnoticed! No one really cares for me....I am too negligible an object to catch a little glimpse of some of them.I cry alone,I laugh alone,I dream alone and of course,I am living alone.When those horrible nightmares haunt me in my dreams , I wake up with a dry throat and cold perspiration....to find that no one is there beside me,who will wipe off my face and kiss my forehead to make me feel relieved,who will hold my shaking,cold hands and give me the assurance that he is with me,no matter what happens! I love silence...I love solitude...but still,sometimes the burden of loneliness strangulates my soul,everything becomes meaningless.Sometimes I forget that I am a human being,and being a human it is quite normal that good qualitites and bad qualities co-exist in me.I remain so busy with mourning for my vices that I completely forget I have some virtues too....may be very little but still I possess some of them! In fact sometime I dont find anything good in me! And when I can not find anything so good or unique about me how can I expect others to find those in me?So...I never blame others for anything,who knows...may be I am the one ,who has wronged! may be I am the one who is to be blamed! may be I am the worst person in this world!
I dont know what is true and what is not! I dont know whether I am alive or not! If mere breathing is the sign of life then probably I am not dead.I am still alive and suffering.I am so alone in this world! Sometimes I truly wonder what is the fault in me,am I too bad? or am I too foolish? probably that's why every miserable things happens to me.Previously I used to cry a lot! Now-a-days I can't ...probably too much loss of tears have resulted in scarcity of the amount !! so...tears dn't fall easily these days...and this gives me much more pain for I am unaware of any alternative way of lessening the burden of pain!Traumatised and agonised by uncanny pain, I continue to live my life.Not knowing anything about my final destination I carry on my lonely voyage.Though not sure of the right path,I should take...I keep on guessing and end up choosing the wrong one! Not knowing what the future has in store for me,I dream...of a wonderland...of a loving angel...of a "happily ever after" ending....!!!
