9.15 am

Feeling quite happy and content....realised one thing(knew it earlier but realised the truthfulness and intensity today)!
What is present today will be past tomorrow...and we are living in the present,neither past nor future.But sometimes I forget this basic thing!I get lost in past or sometimes I think about probabilities and possibilities which may or may not happen.....I get so much involved with past or probable future I just forget my present.'Present' is something which can not be ignored,nor should we!what you dream today ,will show you the way tomorrow.Our present is a hint about what may happen tomorrow, with us.It is our work,our deeds,our thoughts and every possible things we do in present,will show us the actual result tomorrow,which may be good or bad! So be prepared for your deeds,expect well-being and happiness if you have done something good...but then you should not expect so much that it exceeds your actual work!Dreaming is good but your dreams should be within your reach...otherwise you have to live with a broken heart!

4pm

Everyone blames me.I am also blaming myself.Had I not been so impatient this incident would not have occurred! I am sooo selfish! Why couldnt I tolerate the pain?Am I so weak?I am solely responsible for this...This is completely my fault.But the pain was intolerable.So I could not control myself.And I am regretting now.This is a great lesson for me.In future certainly I will not tell anyone anything!I have to learn how to supress all pains in my heart,regardless of how much intolerable it may be.From the next time I willnot ever, repeat this wrong which I have done today...God forgive me!I couldnot control myself.You know I had no intention to cause harm to anybody!But for this I am suffering so much!Give me more and more pain...I will never complain,but dont make others suffer due to some fault of my own,please lord! please help me........

feeling of being guilty is too terrible!.I am tired of being sorry!dont know what to do...except crying.That's what I am doing now...I am gradually losing my existence in darkness of despair,guilt ,sorrow and hopelessness....feeing the urge to destroy myself!!!!!!!!

9.28 am

hurray!! dont have college today...for today is a holiday! have some plans of studying(finally!).I am feeling better today,there was some misunderstanding with one of my close friends,and yesterday I managed to clear it out!Actually I cant hold grudge against anybody for a longgg time...I feel the urge to clear it out as soon as my anger is reduced and until I clear out every possible misunderstandings ,I just cant sleep!

2.30 pm...

I am wondering..all of us are so opportunist!(including me)!
If anything happens which is favourable to us we instantly support it,without concerning what will be the effect on others.Yesterday when I went to college most of my frnds didnt come...I was getting bored like hell!:( And to add insult to injury none of the professors was coming to take classes! At last when one of them came finally we were relieved, Hurrah !! we are gonna get our attendance ...but alas! after listening to that boring,irritating lecture patiently he said calmly"I will mark all of you present"and he went out ...wtf!! we were sitting there all day long just to get the attendance! now he says this!!! huhh!....we were so angry then!

Now today when I am sick I wish may this incident happens today also! but if I were in college this time I would not have thought this !

thats why I am saying we are so opportunist!

ITS 10.25 AM

Still sitting in front of my pc.......busy doin nothing,I am such a loser! period of depression is finally over...without any reason I feel despair and hopelessness and after sometimes I feel it"s gone! I think I am too much an moody person!

Got some school friends from Orkut"s community,I am soooo happy:)
Already added them...not sure whether they will recognise me ! for I was never part of their groups...in fact I wasn't part of any group in school...I was a loner...but I was friendly...I would help anyone who wanted it!But I remember all of them...I guess I have a strong memory!:)

Some good old memories are knocking on the doors of my mind.Feeling nostalgic!:(
I love my school...I really miss those beautiful days.

8.30 am

Feeling low and depressed !!!!! down with severe head-ache.Nothing to do except thinking preposterous things.Probably my head wants rest too! but then what will I do?Feeling of being unwanted is most terrible !