Friday, November 7, 2008

4pm

Everyone blames me.I am also blaming myself.Had I not been so impatient this incident would not have occurred! I am sooo selfish! Why couldnt I tolerate the pain?Am I so weak?I am solely responsible for this...This is completely my fault.But the pain was intolerable.So I could not control myself.And I am regretting now.This is a great lesson for me.In future certainly I will not tell anyone anything!I have to learn how to supress all pains in my heart,regardless of how much intolerable it may be.From the next time I willnot ever, repeat this wrong which I have done today...God forgive me!I couldnot control myself.You know I had no intention to cause harm to anybody!But for this I am suffering so much!Give me more and more pain...I will never complain,but dont make others suffer due to some fault of my own,please lord! please help me........

feeling of being guilty is too terrible!.I am tired of being sorry!dont know what to do...except crying.That's what I am doing now...I am gradually losing my existence in darkness of despair,guilt ,sorrow and hopelessness....feeing the urge to destroy myself!!!!!!!!

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